stay in, go out?
beer, cider?
hip hop, rock?
steak, Chinese?
film, xbox?
fact, fiction?
drive, ride?
the world, bed?
rest, play?
sleep, session?
stay, go?
dreams, comfort?
all the way, nothing?
i never know what i want. i don't.
i make a decision. i evaluate all my decisions. i regret more than most.
the grass is always greener.
it took me 18 months to quit a job i hated. just a few "you're in a good position" & "you're doing well for your age" 's can so easily cloud any judgement i had. can produce indecision. can create a decision. my heart and head agreed, yet i was still unsure.
i could be a pilot. fuck it, i could be top gun. i could. those words mean the world to me... i could. i can. but could i ever decide...? could i give up my freedom...? FUCK NO! it didn't feel right. it was always a backdoor. it was always an escape. it was always a contingency. it was always a "just in case".
then you.......
wherever you came from.........
you didn't just turn my world upside down, you did the same with my life. you turned me from down to up. from negative to positive. you turned me. you made me, me.
i am never sure of anything. never. ever.
yet there isn't a decision to be made here. i am going to NYC. i am going to get closer to my baby. more easily accessible. so that i can be there for her always. forever.
i don't have to think.
there is nothing to consider.
as soon as i can... i will be with her. i will be there. i will be by her side.... because she deserves that and so much more.
i know this is true. i know this is real. because, otherwise i wouldn't 'know'... i would just think. i don't think. i don't believe. i know. i know.
i am so sure, because 'her' is Frankie. MY Frankie. my everything. my world. my girl. my future.
i have never been so sure in all my life, she must be something far more than amazing....
i am forever hers......
